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This is so infuriating! If a woman says “no”, she says “no”! It doesn’t matter who she is saying “no” to. Apparently, in the UK, a top Tory senior adviser says that “suggested rape accusations made by women against their partners should be treated as “disagreements” between lovers.”

Well of course it’s a disagreement. One person wants to have sex, the other doesn’t, and the one who wants to doesn’t give a shit what their partner wants and rapes them. That is, very obviously, a disagreement. His justification is ridiculous:

None of us want men to rape women, but there is a difference between a man using unreasonable force to assault a woman on the street, and a disagreement between two lovers over whether there was consent on one particular occasion.

Who is to say that a partner doesn’t (or can’t!) use unreasonable force to rape their significant other? Last time I checked, the definition of rape was anal, oral, or vaginal penetration without consent. How is a situation where a couple disagrees about whether or not there was consent NOT rape? Everything about that screams rape. Just because you know someone doesn’t mean they can’t rape you. Assaults on the street are far less common than assaults by people the survivor knows.

This can only have bad consequences. Every acquaintance rapist in the UK is now going to use the defense that it wasn’t rape because they knew each other. They’ll say “we just disagreed about consent! We’re friends, we’re work it out. It was only a minor disagreement, no need for the law here!” Sorry, not ok with me. With only 15% of rapes in the US being stranger rapes and the other whopping 85% being acquaintance rapes, this can only spell bad things for rape survivors. If you consider the fact that rape is one of the most underreported crimes, assholes who run around saying stuff like this will only decrease the number of acquaintance rapes that are reported.

Probably the best part of the whole thing is that they know this:

“It has also been suggested that around three-quarters of rape victims do not report the crime to the police.” Mr Cameron told the Conservative Women’s Organisation that this meant only 15 out of 1,000 victims see justice done.

He said: “We have a situation where rapists think they can get away with it, while victims fear not being believed and wonder what’s the point of pursuing the criminal process. How can any civilised country, that sees the sanctity of consent to sex as a vital right for every woman, accept these facts?”

If we live in a society where rapists think they can get away with it, and survivors fear not being believed I am highly doubtful that running around telling people that rape is simply just a “lover’s quarrel” will help fix this discrepancy. This is so disgusting. If a woman says no, she says no! It doesn’t matter who she is saying no to!

What is with all the countries I want to move to disappointing me with their political opinions and judicial rulings surrounding rape?

Source, via Feministing.